A Day in the life of DVM

I am an early riser and my day starts at around 630am.

At the moment I live in East Sussex having been born in the tough part of Londons East End. West Ham was my birthplace and I still own a property there; it is the house I grew up in.

I have lived in Walthamstow, Chingford, Chigwell, Maidstone, Essex and in Paris.

When in London I always have Pie & Mash, a two and two.

Unfortunately, East London is looking more and more like Little Moscow now. All you hear are eastern europeans talking loud on their mobile phones. Blond surgically enhanced polish girls have all the shop jobs and nearly all the eastern european men are driving around trying to create accidents so they can make insurance claims and get more money. It comes to something when even the blacks and muslims feel outnumbered!

In East Sussex there is no hope of Pie & Mash so the smell of Fish & Chips is the thing that makes me smile down here. A trip to Brighton always cheers me up. Looking at the jewellery in 'The Lanes' is a favourite pastime.

I NEVER have breakfast in bed as my bed linen cost me a fortune. Breakfast is normally a large cup of builders tea with two sugars and two slices of Marmite on toast. Sometimes I have poached eggs on Bovril toast. The rest of the day I drink herbal tea and black coffee and diet coke.

I don't smoke and I have very little alcohol, perhaps a glass of wine with dinner now and then but sitting in a pub all night listening to other people roaring away about some rubbish in their life or expecting everyone to find their screaming kids funny or adorable is not my idea of a night out.

I like business lunches because that means someone else is paying for it.

I have a desk in an office but I tend to move around and work wherever I am.

I drive an S Type Jaguar. It's a superb car and I wouldn't change it for a new model. I also drive a top of the range customized Black Range Rover Sport. I don't like sports cars as they are driven by flash harry's or idiots who cant control them.

I own properties in Essex, London, Kent and Sussex. As long as the tenants pay me I leave them alone.

I go up to London on the Train from Tunbridge Wells but they have put the fares up and that really aggravates me. Sometimes it gets too crowded, especially if its a school holiday. It's full of mothers taking their kids out for free.

I am sure a lot of people have kids so they can claim off the state for them. Half the time, during school holidays, you see coffee shops and high streets full of women dragging kids around because they have no idea what to do with them. I don't know why these women have kids, apart from the Benefits system, as they are hopeless at looking after them.

I like proper cooked English food. Shepherds pie is my favourite and I make my own from a secret recipe. Every time I make it I am told it's the best. I do like a glass of champagne with my Shepherds pie and my Fish and Chips. I like a can of Coke with my Pie and Mash.

I like Italian and Greek food too and I have a couple of wonderful Lasagna and Moussaka recipes I keep to myself that have been handed down over the ages. I do not think you can beat a lively buzzing Italian or Greek restaurant in Italy or in Greece for a night out: not so much in the UK as they are clichéd.  I like very hot curries too, which I classify as English food now anyway, and I have a pint of Cobra with my Chicken Balti Ultra Hot Vindaloo.

I am very choosy about restaurants because you are normally sitting next to some riff raff who is half pissed or just talking loud about some fantasy so I prefer to eat at home or at my Hotel or if abroad then I tend to go to a locals 'off the beaten track need to know basis' restaurant rather than a tourist hotspot.

I read a lot. Crime thrillers, biographies, Antiques, Law and Criminology and Business books. I taught myself company law and accountancy in a month from reading some books on holiday.

I watch some TV but mainly news channels. I like movies and DVD's and also classic movies from the 50's/60's and 70's. I prefer older comedy to new stuff. Steptoe & Son, Rising Damp, Porridge, Only fools and horses and Birds of a Feather. Any movie with a criminal element or a horror is fine by me.

I listen to all different kinds of music. All the new stuff is just a load of crap. Bad copies of old songs or loads of kids with inflated egos and no talent. The 80's had the best music, and clothes, and the 70's were good.

I have computers but I like writing stuff down so I never go anywhere without a moleskin notebook or my trusty Filofax. I was a yuppy, and still am.

I am an agnostic. I do not believe that God can be proved to exist. I need to see something to believe it completely. Religion is just something created by someone who was a bit more clever than the others and its a way of controlling people. I heard the phrase 'Jesus Saves' and having seen his property portfolio, he certainly does.

Religion has caused more wars and deaths than anything else.

I believe in Money and Power. That's all you need.

I have a team of people who work for me. I have a couple of minders.Not ex SAS or ex coppers (as if!), my people are more capable than that!  I know a lot of people who 'society' would call criminals, ex bank robbers and cat burglars. A few of my people are ex Bouncers. I trust them more than any police officer or MP.

I have no fear of taking anyone on. No man woman or business. The Law doesn't worry me either. I am a believer in direct confrontation, in saying exactly what I think and I also believe in personal and direct retribution against anyone who tries to rob from me or make my life difficult.  I have a couple of minders who I use occasionally. Sometimes one has to have people moved out of the way so it's best to leave that to minders. Like I said, I don't favour the usual ex SAS or military, these are far more capable.

I have no interest in what anyone thinks of me, I don't need to be liked, I don't care if I am hated. I really don't give a toss. People can say what they like about me as long as they get my name right!